How (not) to React When Children Misbehave
In a world of mind over matter, where our assumptions demand literal manifestations in our lives, it’s sometimes best to ignore the unwanted things and pretend otherwise.
One of the fundamental truths of raising children is that we sometimes cannot help them or make them do what we demand, no matter how much we want to.
Counterintuitively, the harder we try, the less progress we make
The reason is that in a reality where the mind rules everything, the things we give our attention to, that bother us the most, are what must manifest in our lives.
The more we hate something, the more it must be reflected in our reality.
The more we hit our heads against the wall on some problem, the more that problem must persist.
It doesn’t have a choice - it’s Law. Like attracts like. As witing - so without.
As students of the mind-over-matter principles, we understand that:
What we focus on is manifested and increased in our lives.
There are no idle thoughts, assumptions, or beliefs. All must be reflected in our lives in some manner.
If we want a different reality, we must first change our inner beliefs, images, assumptions, thoughts, and stories.
So, when our children misbehave or repeat unwanted behavior, it’s best to take a breather and then make the appropriate change within.
We acknowledge where we are but choose to paint a different picture in our minds:
We accept what happened and move on as effortlessly as possible, diminishing its meaning and impact.
We ignore what happened and forget it, if possible. The less we think and talk about it, the better.
We reframe the nature of the issue and give it a positive connotation. We assume it’s good, and so it must be.
We change the story into something that we would prefer. “No, this didn’t happen. What happened was this…” and visualize the alternative scenario.
We overwrite old memories with new ones. The subjective mind doesn’t know the difference between a lie and the truth but will act out what it believes. The truth of our memories doesn’t matter. What matters is what we will have to experience as a consequence. We get to choose, believe it or not.
We affirm what we want to be true as if it already is true right now. Our child is confident, intelligent, healthy, strong, calm, clean, sleeps well... (opposite of the issue) For how long? Until we believe it wholeheartedly.
We stop expecting the old behavior (manifestation) and begin expecting the new, idealized version of our children and their behavior. We usually get what we expect deep down. Remember - the universe always says YES to our dominant beliefs, assumptions, and expectations.
This way, we accomplish two things:
We diminish the old, unwanted story in our minds. The one that created our current situation.
We build up a new story, one we want to see manifested in our lives, convincing ourselves that this is the true reality.
Should we persist on this path, our inner world will begin to change, and with it, the outer reality, as it is nothing more than a projection of our minds. If we take the outside reality as the cause and fact, it will keep repeating itself.
As long as we focus on the problem and the unwanted, trying to force a better outcome, it will persist in our lives.
Do you want to be right or do you want things to change for the better?
Only when we take our attention away from the issue and, in our minds, make it a nonissue, convincing ourselves of a different story, will the universe adapt and give us a different outcome.
This can prove to be quite tricky at times, yet we know that the change we want to see in the world must always begin within.
When it comes to children
If what we’re doing isn’t working and the same issues and patterns repeat, it might be time to look within for the cause.
Everyone is you pushed outward. They don’t have free will but are bound to your assumptions about yourself, the world, and them. It’s not “them,” it’s you!
So, how do you change your children’s behavior or persistent issues?
Go within, deny what you don’t want to see in your life, and imagine it as different. When you believe it more than what your eyes tell you, it will be so. I know. It’s infinitely easier said than done.
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